shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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