either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
