Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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