she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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