News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
