Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cannot find my penis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
