Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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