I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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