Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
