Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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