I need help removing her.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
