In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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