Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(847): View more from Illinois

his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.

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(716): View more from New York

Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.

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