I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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