i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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