This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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