So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Farmville is her only friend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
