she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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