Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
