he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
