rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Success! We fucked roommates!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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