Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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