Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
