woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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