"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
