I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
