absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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