I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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