He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
