I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize