I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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