Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
