The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
