I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
