i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i out mim tonsoeep
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