sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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