I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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