He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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