Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
