it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you would pick up someone in the library
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just googled if crying burns calories
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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