You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
