On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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