You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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