Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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