I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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