Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
