if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
