just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
