What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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