The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
