am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
